Breastfeeding: why I'm working time-and-a-half

Posted Jun 13th 2006 10:59PM by Sarah Gilbert
Filed under: Babies, Pregnancy & birth, Money & work, Eating & nutrition

sarah breastfeeding truman Someone, in the past few months, told me, "breastfeeding is a part-time job." And as I've crossed the line from "baby" to "toddler" with Truman, passed the all-important first birthday and found myself re-committing to the various non-profits and extracurriculars that occupy my time when I'm not working for my "day" job ... I've started to wonder: am I violating some part of my employment agreement here?

Truman, like his brother Everett before him, is a night feeder. I turned to co-sleeping as a crutch when the boys were still tiny infants, and I'm still rolling over at 2 a.m., 5 a.m., 6 a.m., 7 a.m. to feed Truman. We usually finish up our last feeding around 7:45 and I fight for that last few minutes of sleep before I hit my computer. Often, I find myself stealing time "away" from work to catch up on my sporadic sleep.

Instead of a lunch break, I take a breastfeeding break, sometime between 11 and 1, after which my energy is sapped and I long to join Truman in his daily nap. Later, I'll give him his bedtime feeding. Before baby, I'd return to my laptop around 9 or 10 p.m., raring to go for a latenight writing jag. Now? I'm lucky if I can keep my eyes open as long as Truman does. I'm losing four or more hours of "productivity" a day thanks to the endless (but nutritive!) sucking.

Really, it's hardly a part-time job. It's an all-the-time job. And I don't blame moms a bit who stop nursing before their babies are a year old. Despite my emotional commitment to nursing as long as Truman wants (his brother weaned at 18 months, so when I think of "what Truman wants" I'm really saying "what Truman wants as long as it's less than or equal to 18 months old"), sometimes all I can long for is a bottle and that old perky feeling at 10 p.m.

I'm glad no one's paying me to breastfeed. Otherwise, I'd certainly be violating that clause in my employment agreement where I've been asked to serve only one employer.

Reader Comments

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1. I do feel bad too when I sneak to the washroom to express my breastmilk and constant opening of the toilet door from the outside. Dem! They must be thinking i'm sleeping in the toilet.

Posted at 3:04AM on Jun 14th 2006 by Hijackqueen

2. It's seems more like a joke

Posted at 5:02AM on Jun 14th 2006 by Survey

3. I am right there with you. In fact, about four weeks ago I went back to drinking caffeine (something I'd given up before getting pregnant and tried to stay away from while nursing) and now live for my "fix". That lunchtime session is the worst, as I have to get out the door to work just as I'm ready to close my eyes and enjoy an hour's nap. And once I've nursed him to sleep at night, I am absolutely wiped out. I love that he still nurses at 2 1/2, but I do look forward to having more time and energy for myself one of these days.

Posted at 7:51AM on Jun 14th 2006 by Nicola

4. I was right there with you with my daughter. What helped me was realizing that I could night wean without having to wean completely. Elizabeth Pantley's book 'the no cry sleep solution' (she has one for babies and one for toddlers)has a lot of helpful tips for accomplishing night weaning without a lot of crying.

Posted at 9:25AM on Jun 14th 2006 by Stephanie

5. I had the same situation when my youngest weaned, except for I wasn't working. But the nursing did take over my entire life, and at 15 months, I was worn out with it. Circumstances were such that I had to be away from him for 4 days, so I weaned him. Part of me wanted to keep nursing for a longer period of time, but part of me was so relieved.

Posted at 9:48AM on Jun 14th 2006 by Amanda

6. I co-sleep and last night I realised that when I am fighting to put the nipple in my baby's mouth and he is kicking/rolling and knocking it out(every 5 seconds) and fussing, he doesn't want my nipple. He does however keep tossing and turning even though he seems to want to sleep. Everytime he is almost asleep he wakes up, but at least if I'm not trying to put my nipple in his mouth he doesn't cry.

So now I can barely stay awake. What happened to my sleeps like a rock baby?

I want toooo sleeeeeeeeeeeep

Posted at 9:51AM on Jun 14th 2006 by Brenda

7. Nursing is a relationship between TWO (sometimes more!) people. Sometimes you have to make compromises or set limits in order for both people to feel that their needs are being met. I think this is especially true after the first year. Breastfeeding isn't an all or nothing proposition.

I'd suggest experimenting with setting limits, possibly considering night weaning and only nursing during the day.

Maybe if you joined him for his nap, you'd feel more like working in the evening after he is in bed?

Maybe you can get him to allowe you a longer stretch of sleep at night if you were to wake him and nurse when you are ready to go to bed yourself.

Posted at 10:05AM on Jun 14th 2006 by momma2mingbu

8. Physiologically, I know a one year old can make it through the night without feeding (with enough feedings throughout the day of course; not to say that you're not feeding him enough during the day!)--I think for your sanity, night weaning is probably the way to go. I can only speak to my experience, but my eight month old has been weaned from night feedings for several months and I am still happily nursing her and my milk supply has adjusted accordingly. I know the fact that she sleeps through the night has kept me sane and more productive at work!!

Posted at 1:02PM on Jun 14th 2006 by birdgal

9. Breastfeeding is a great source of nutrition and I truly believe it is the best for baby. I breastfed twins for 6 months. But even before I weaned at 6 months we had no more night feedings. Get rid of them! You deserve your sleep. Your toddler deserves his sleep. Even if you add up 8 hours of sleep, if it is disturbed, you're not getting the rest you need, nor is your toddler. Your toddler can get adequate nutrition from daytime meals/breastfeedings now.

Posted at 1:18PM on Jun 14th 2006 by Tara

10. My DD is 14 months and we ended up night weening at 11 months, for my sanity. She didn't need to eat 3-4 times a night...it was a comfort thing. One AM, after waking up 5 times one time, I turned over to the hubby and said, "I can't take this any more. I need my sleep!"
It was hell on earth (oy, the screaming and fussing!) but after a week or 2, she was almost sleeping through the night (some nights, she'd wake at 2 or so for a quick top off but 1 wake up call beat what was happening before!). Now, 3 months later, we've had our ups and downs but things are so much better.
Now if only she'd sleep past 5 AM!!!

Posted at 9:13PM on Jun 20th 2006 by Anne

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